on love

While it is true that love can create euphoric highs in one's day, I have come to understand that it can also rip one apart.
In general, I enjoy meeting new people. What does that have to do with love? A lot. There is nothing wrong with the new people in my life. However, there is still something missing. No matter how many people I meet and no matter how many times I laugh and I smile, there is a gnawing pain inside me. There is the knowledge that the person with whom I want most to laugh and smile will not re-enter my life. And it is not a matter of death, this person lives and breathes just as you or I do. To this day, I am unclear as to how the events that brought about the demise of a friendship even came to pass. All I know is, I am sad about it.
So to me, love is toxic. That's all.

How do I manage to waste so very much time when in my heart every second I have is precious?!